A Glimmer Of Hope In The Darkness

Events of 15th June 2015

Sunday morning I had a call from Leanne.

I called her back and got asked if I would consider taking on a sick kitten that already had a home but just needed some one on one TLC to get him on the road to recovery.

Needless to say that little kitten was Hugo.

I was in two minds for only a few seconds.

What if he ended up being put down as well? Could I handle another loss?

But then I thought I owed it to Leo to give Hugo a chance at his own family.

Leo had no proper quality of life looking forward to him. Hugo had just a glimmer of hope on the horizon that if he kicked this flu virus he had every possibility of living a long and healthy life.

I said yes.

I dragged in a cage, set it up in my bedroom since he couldn't go in with the foster kittens and risk exposing them to the nasty virus. I would be having to up the quarantine measures and my mother would have to step up and do most of the handling and care of the Moods and the Weenies.

My sister came down to visit that weekend. It was a surprise visit for my dads 60th Birthday so she missed seeing Leo that morning.

Hugo was a mess. Skinny, snotty, congested, inflamed eyes.

If possible to imagine worse than this...

Leanne said his only saving grace so far had been that he was already adopted and paid for. A vet had looked at him and wanted to put him down.

Gathering his items I pulled up my sleeves and got to work. I began syringe feeding every 2 hours. It didn't matter what time of day I even woke up at night to medicate him or shove a bit more food into him.

His breathing that first night was horrid. So began the steam baths. When I showered he came in his carrier and was put at a gap in the shower door so any steam escaping would get to him.

During the day I would fill a small cup with steaming water and put a blanket over him and the cup holding it under his nose so the steam would rise up at him. (Had my hand kind of covering the top so he didn't dip his face in it and held it far enough away that he didn't get burned).

Of a night I'd sit in the bathroom with him and let the shower run until the room was like a sauna.

I bathed his poor sore ulcerated eyes.

Even in the start of the second day of having him Hugo figured out the syringe = food. He happily ate his required two full syringes and even nibbled some food off a plate.

Still looking horrible but even now attempts to eat are a good sign

By the third day he was happily chowing down syringes and trying to stick his head in the bowl as I tried to fill the syringe again. He killed the very tip of numerous syringes in his excitement to get food.

Obviously majority of these early pics are from my temperamental camera but it is now milestones of progress and I'm so glad I took notes.

He looks horrible, He was sneezing more as the steam caused the mucus to begin shifting. He'd lost a lot of weight since I'd brought him home to look after for a few days. I weighed him and he was 810 grams when adopted and in the week or so he'd returned he'd declined enough to only be 719 grams.

Hugo and his sore ulcerated eyes and unkempt coat.

Still pretty quiet compared to the outgoing little guy I met in adoptions

The best part is I feel he has gained some weight since I picked him up.

Everything crossed that the progress continues.

Hugo loves sleeping close to my neck. He's such a sweetheart even when he's snotty.

Reflecting on the life of the Greatest Legend Ever

A Sequence of photos depicting some of Leo's more memorable moments and how he grew from little kitten to big striking boy.

2011

Quality time together during the first week I saw him

Adoption Day

Cuddles and being totally adorable

Cuddles with Little Sis

Always inquisitive

Venturing out on harness - So much to see

So happy little guy

Went from lanky kitten to Cat-teen in a blink

Although he still had the youthful look going on

2012

MUM! No Photos!

Worried Leo

Couldn't be any more relaxed

Loves his Nip

Inherited a new little sister (Terra)

The days when Terra was smaller than Leo
MUM I wanna play with the kittens

Adorable Leo always tried to wash Terra but she wouldn't have a bar of it

2013

MY KICKER!!!

Handsome boy posing for Christmas

Leo in a rare photo with family cat Missy

2014

Leo playing pretzel

Leo having happy dreams

MUM! It's too hot today!

2015

Leo tolerated foster kittens. He's telling Loki that this is his beanbag

MY BEANBAG!!

I'M COLD

Seeking cuddles

 Such a pity that as he grew and I was focused with getting heaps of pictures of the foster kittens that I got less of Leo. I guess I always thought I'd have years to build memories and he'd always be there to take pictures of while the fosters can be here for a month or only a few weeks.

If you made it to the bottom with all pictures loading properly or without your computer crashing from overload. Thank you.

I Died Today

**** The dreaded post is here, reading it through again never gets any easier. Even coming on a year since Leo's been gone I still miss him terribly and hate the illness that ravaged his body so horribly in only a few weeks. He was taken much too soon but I promised myself when our thirteen year old family cat had been left too long to be given a dignified ending that I'd never allow any cat I signed responsibility for to ever have to get to that point before I let them go ****

Events of 13th June 2015

It was like I was being sucker punched from both sides.

I visited Leo after work on the Friday. He looked bad and a bit scared but better than he had when he was at home. Gave him some pats and cuddles even though he isn't one to tolerate them when they're not on his own terms. He was still connected to a drip.

Mum! Take me home

Still not being his usual vibrant self

I had to wait for Anne to ring with test results to find out when he could be brought home.

BLOW ONE

Anne rang with test results. She did and FIV test on him.

Positive.

I was in shock. He had been indoor since I had him. He had never, ever been in a fight that would result in deep bite wounds. Neither Terra or Missy had it as far as we knew but again they'd never been in a full rough and tumble, blood drawing battle.

The only way he could possibly have contracted it was being born to a cat that was positive or being bitten while he was a stray for the approximately 10 weeks before he was brought into the shelter.

I was completely clueless to the fact he'd been carrying around this disease for potentially four and a half years.

She said she would call back with the results of his liver ultrasound. The fact of him having Feline Aids meant she could find cancers in his liver.

Quite a while later  I received another call.

BLOW TWO

There were no tumors but his liver was more than three quarters compromised. It was abnormal looking and they couldn't rule out cancer but unless a specialist was brought in to find more answers Anne told me straight that with this combined with the FIV his prognosis was less than good.

BLOW THREE

She recommended euthanasia.

I went to the vets knowing in my heart that I couldn't put him through weeks at the vets being force fed. He was a horror to pill I couldn't imagine how much he'd hate people poking him like a pin cushion and the fact his future held more vet visits, relapses and medication for life.

His positive to FIV would also put fostering on question. I wasn't even sure if I'd be allowed to continue fostering if I had an Feline Aid positive resident cat.

Bringing in a specialist was an option but it would be more to confirm answers of what the liver abnormality was. No matter what the specialist would have said he would still have to go through weeks of treatment and that would be only if he responded to treatment.

I queried how accurate the FIV test was. It was very accurate.

I queried what his liver abnormality could be. They said it could be inflammation, it could be hepatitis but it could be cancer.

They said with his Feline Aids compromising his immune system recovery chances weren't overly good and even getting him back to some form of life quality he'd probably be on medications for life and there would be high chances of him having relapses and spending time at the vets.

I weighed up the quality of life. I knew my decision but didn't want to admit it.

I chose euthanasia.

I had to let him leave with some form of dignity. I remember our thirteen year old cat had been allowed to get to the point of being skin and bones. I remember him fitting on the way to the vets. I knew I couldn't ever leave a cat to suffer for that long again.

I held him as he went. I took comfort when he growled as the green dream hit him that he was having his last words at the vet before he slipped away quickly.

Part of me died with him. I'll never forget the four and a half years he gave me.

Goodbye Leo.

I never truly got to give him a full cuddle since the whole sequence of vet visits

Sleep forever a happy comfortable sleep and wake up fresh and renewed in body and mind in the next world.

Heart Break

Events of the 7th June 2015

Got a call early Saturday to come get Leo. He was behaving better but obviously uncomfortable being at the vets. His mystery illness was put down to a gastro-type thing.

He got boiled chicken as a bland diet and he ate that alright.

Crappy phone quality pic but I was so happy to see him eating

Hugo is now a worry. The adoption room had a bit of sneezing going on. He'd recently undergone his neuter surgery and he was a bit ribby. Did weigh over the required amount but felt way too skinny to me. All of that combined meant he picked up a flu virus that hit with barely any warning. By Sunday I'd picked up some vibravet to begin treating it.

One of the worst cases of flu I've ever seen

If having Hugo not well wasn't enough. Leo decided after a day of eating alright he would not eat his chicken. He's also packing himself in the study and not moving all day. Very odd for my cat that usually walks around the house and drives us mad meowing.

Wally the boy in Winni's litter is still being all mysterious and not gaining weight. *sigh*

I'm just a late bloomer ~ Wally 

I chose to observe Leo for a few days. He's still licking his lips quite a lot like he's constantly nauseous.

Made the mistake of giving him fancy feast instead of chicken which he promptly threw up all over my bed. If he's not improved greatly he's heading back to the vets again.

Hugo got kept at the shelter. They had cats in isolation battling the same illness and it was risky to keep him with Winifred and her babies while they were so young. I felt bad considering I was supposed to be looking after him for a week.

Leo still uncomfortable by the Thursday. Appeared dehydrated to me so after work I got him booked in again.

He had dropped from 4.8kg to 4.2kg in only a few days. He was admited to do fluids and a blood panel.

I picked up three kittens from the RSPCA that needed a bit of socializing.

Meet

SMOOCHY

Most forward of the three

SOOKY

A little bit less convinced humans are good

GRUMPY

Convinced humans are evil incarnate

I probably have a bundle of photos that I wont know who is who. With my mind full of worrying about Leo the three got most of their socialization from the rest of my family rather than me.

Pretty sure thats Grumpy & Smoochy

Anne called me back and told me the bloods came back showing something wrong with Leo's liver. Chances his anorexia has brought it on but Anne wanted to run a few more tests and an ultrasound of his liver tomorrow to see if they could find what they're dealing with.

Another night without my boy. It's like foster stress multiplied by a thousand...

*Before Illness* My lap baby

Goodbye Boo, Hello Hugo & Numb

Events of 5th June 2015

Happy Birthday To Me....Not.

Leo had vomited overnight so rang the vets and booked him back in. He had to be admitted for sedation to get X-rays and put on fluids. Leaving him behind hurt like hell.

Before Leo was sick cuddling with me

Made himself at home on a pillow

I see you pretzel kitty

I went straight to the RSPCA with the entire group of the little Monsters. I put them all in the adoption room and waited for Trixi and her friend to arrive to do the paperwork and meet the kittens.

Mum was with me and was saying hi to an overly friendly little tortoiseshell kitten.

The monsters were all hissy and scared despite half the kittens being smaller than them.

Roz huddling beside my leg for comfort

You're taking us back home right? ~ Roz & Randal

Roz, Randal and Celia Mae

Was quite the whirlwind when Trixi came to visit. Boo wasn't really showing her true self since she'd only just been thrown in the room but Trixi committed to buying her and went off to do her paperwork.

Boo found a base of a scratching post to hide in

I'm quite happy in here, thanks very much ~ Boo

Her friend Carolyn had brought her young son and a little tabby kitten pranced over to the kids feet, let the kid pick him up and just perched there. I swear the little mite just adopted them as his. It worked and Carolyn had to rush out to get her tiny mountain of paperwork done as well.

It was decided I'd take Hugo home with me and look after him for a week while Carolyn and her family were away for a brief holiday. I was happy to do so.

Where are we going? ~ Hugo

Sleepy baby

So ready to be friends with everyone (giving dad a head boop)

Boo already spayed got packed into a carrier and off she went to her new home. I get frequent updates and man is she one spoiled little girl.

I waited and waited for news on Leo. In the end I got a call late at night saying the Xrays showed nothing but he was still showing signs of nausea and was being kept for overnight observations. So needless to say I spent my birthday without my personal kitty.

Was the worst Birthday ever.

So glad I could take something bright out of it being Boo found her forever family.